~*~ Jason's Totally Real Stories ~*~

ACT III — In Which It Is Too Late

At 4:52 in the afternoon, Theodore Pemberton, aged nine, stood up from the park bench with the calm certainty of a man who has finally made up his mind. He would eat the sandwich.

He turned to the spot where it had sat all day, on its square of wax paper, between the armrest and a dried-out leaf.

The wax paper was there. The leaf was there. The sandwich was not.

Twenty feet away, at the base of an oak tree, a gray squirrel sat upright holding half a sandwich in both hands, like a man reading a newspaper. It looked at Theodore. Theodore looked at it. Neither of them said anything. The squirrel took a bite.

Theodore sat back down and began to think about how the day had come to this. It was something he would keep doing for many years.

ACT II — In Which He Thinks About It

By lunchtime, Theodore had made a list in his head.

Reasons to eat it: It was probably turkey. It had been cut diagonally, which suggested someone who cared.

Reasons not to eat it: It had been cut diagonally, which suggested someone who might come back for it. Also, his mother always said not to eat things off the ground. But a bench was not the ground. A bench was, if you thought about it, a kind of table.

At 1:15 he decided not to eat it. At 1:40 he decided he would. At 2:30 he asked a passing jogger for advice, and the jogger did not stop. At 3:45 a pigeon walked up, studied the sandwich, and left. Theodore took this as a warning, then as a recommendation, then as nothing at all.

He noticed, but did not think much about, a squirrel watching him from the oak tree.

ACT I — In Which There Is a Sandwich

It was a Saturday in October. Theodore had walked to the park with a dollar in his pocket and no plan whatsoever.

On the third bench from the fountain, sitting neatly on a square of wax paper, was half of a sandwich. Not a crust. Not a bite. Exactly half, as if whoever ate the other half had been called away suddenly on business of great importance.

Theodore sat down next to it.

"Hello," he said to the sandwich. He was nine, and he had all day.